Lost Love

 Kya pyaar kiya toone bhi, meri zameen hi le gaya

Jab chhod ke gaya toh asmaan bhi le gaya

Kya kahun, kisse kahun ....

Bikharne ka dard, Zindagi hi nahi rahi phir bhi zinda rehne ki baddua de gaya ...

7 Years and I am back !!

This ain't the usual posts that I do but just a self shocked acknowledgement that it took me 7 long years to be back to my blog !!

When I re-read my own posts, I realized how much writing eases me to express my emotions and blogging helps me through the complicated phases of my life. These 7 years have witnessed so many changes in me, so much I have evolved - my perception towards life, my thoughts, my personal growth !!!

Reading all my old posts today just makes me feel so happy and content for the person I have evolved to through the plethora of experiences in the last 7 years ☺

Well, I know it's not New Year but I want to make this resolution today that I will blog so much more often 'coz this is literally therapy and such a nostalgia reading my own posts of the past !!

Bas Yuhin

बस युहीं 

कुछ ऐसे बात  की उसने , कि खुद को ही भुला बैठा 

उस आवाज़ कि गहराई मे , शब्दों को सच मान बैठा 

शाम की ओस की बूँदों कि तरह , हवाएं उड़ा ले गई उस खुशबू को 

टूटा हुआ बिखरा सा था मै , उस सहारे को साथ समझ बैठा  । 

ऊँचे घरों को तांकते हुए , हाथों  लकीरों को नापते हुए 

धुंदली सी दिखती है , सपनों की वो मंज़िले 

हार की चादर ओढ़े , मर्ज़ी को किस्मत समझ बैठा । 

कोई पूछे क्या है अंत , तो बढ़ने का प्रमाण दिए सशक्त हो बैठा 

पीछे मुड़ के देखा तो , अपनों को ही दूर कर बैठा 

हवा ने रुख यूँ बदला , कि आँखों से सपनें ही ले उड़ा 

खाली पथ के नुकीले कंकड़ , उन्हें मंज़र कि सीढ़ी समझ बैठा 

हर मोड़ पर मुड़ जाती हैं , वादा कर धोखा दे जाती हैं 

ख्वाइशों के झूलों को , ज़िन्दगी की हक़ीक़त समझ बैठा  । 

Towards Zero

My heart is full of silent screams
Of anger and of pain
My eyes are always filled with tears
Day, after day, after day
My hand reaches out for help
But all that’s there is empty air
So I fall down into darkness
Where no one can hear me wail
I feel like a wild beast 
Locked inside a tight cage
I claw and tear at the walls
And show the entire world my rage
I shall never know the bliss
Of silence in my life
All I feel are the wounds

Made by a sharp knife

Shhhhh..... Secrets !

" Man is not the devil because he keeps secrets, the sin lies in the secret itself "

The power of secrets is such that as much as I want to hate them I don't 'coz I am scared of the undefeated aura of secrets.

 Mankind always loses to them !

You say you are ready to hear my secrets, you ask me everyday; the secrets of my mouth I can do part but the secrets of my heart can not be dragged from their deep pit where I chose to no longer shine my heart. 

I hate secrets !

They manipulate my emotions and numb my brain, hallucinate me with the vision they want to show and eat my soul of assumed truths and feigned lies. I feel shivering, I feel shaky. Secrets are indeed scary ! My secrets are neither dirty nor scandalous, they are mere glimpses of my shadow following me everywhere.

I don't get afraid, but I do have a fear !

Secrets are the immortal troop of scary witches, they follow you to eternity ! 

Quarter life crisis : A trip to enlightenment

Imbibed with the sudden need to change, aspiring new commitments and the constant feeling of being trapped in your own dilemma of making choices, that pretty well summarizes the quarter life crisis I am going through. 

At 26 with an average paying job not of my choice at all, a complicated relationship and loads of responsibilities, I never  really expected if something as in-comprehensive as "Quarter Life Crisis" does exist and then one fine day I see a plethora of emotions flowing through me, trying to comprehend the reason behind every single wrong thing that has ever happened to me and I find myself totally clueless.

A solo midnight trip to Lonavala with head full of tensions and eyes full of tears as I drive down the Expressway, the lightening in the sky indeed feels scary for me to believe that if I died today probably I would land up in hell, if it ever existed. A flashback runs through my mind and surprisingly I only see how awesome I have always been and the smile on my face keeps broadening with every single moment of the flashback running through. 

The quote " You are the sole reason for your existence " never seemed so true !

Oooops ! I forgot the catalyst of the story who played a vital role for making me experience what quarter life crisis is. A guy who supposedly is a friend, a good friend perhaps but is on tangentially opposite dimensions with me when it comes to thoughts and principles of life. I sometimes wonder even after being with so many guy friends for so many years now, how can somebody still boggle me with his thoughts. 

So in brief, the context is that this guy even after being in a committed relationship was looking for somebody who could share the "Friends with Benefits" equation with him and knowing that he is a good friend, I asked him if he ever had a choice between choosing me as a friend or end our friendship by being friends with benefits, I was shocked, totally shocked when he actually said that

 " A sex deprived man will always choose friends with benefits, that will make me super happy"

Now this was that ting moment when I realized how different people can be. I really want to thank him that he came to my life because had I not known him, I would have been never able to know this side of the world, this side of life. No, atleast I am cent percent sure I will never fall for a wrong guy, all thanks to this man who showed me how people can think. 

I am still friends with him and I hope I will always be friends with him because it is really important to have such kind of people in your lives who will keep reminding you time and again that the world has nothing to do with your emotions, if somebody is with you, probably there is some or the other benefit in disguise that he is gaining from you.

Learning for the day " Listen to your mind not your heart when you are making your decisions 'coz the mind sees the truth but the heart is blinded by love "

 

2 minute death of the 100 year old Maggi !

The truth is not known; the barking media has not left a single stone painted green to elucidate the doubts in minds of the guardians of those thousands and lakhs of overgrown children staying in hostels and studios surviving on Maggi for days converted to years now; the nutritionist fraternity in the new age spornosexual cities have revised their business expansion strategy in tapping the potential new breed of clientele and the worst hit of all are the lane of tapris with an annual turnover of over a crore serving the entire south campus in Delhi with their menu plating comprising only of rampant Maggi delicacies !!! 

The facebooks and the twitters of course are seeing their timelines trending with the Nestle employees going gaga over the irresponsible hue and cry made in the media over the much debated and supposedly claimed false reports; the 27-28 year old social media active generation flooding their thoughts on the clean record of the brand for generations now are displaying all the loyalty to Maggi very much in line with the all-time favourite tagline "Main aur meri Maggi" and the society conscious brand name celebrities recording their withdrawal from any kind of association with Maggi all over the social digitized media space to avoid any negative image building in the public; indeed 2 minutes of debacle and the downfall of the product that has truly been an integral part of the growing years in 90% of the Indian households.

What could be the comeback strategy for Nestle ???

Maggi, that comprised of almost 20% of the Nestle turnover in India with around 8-9% contribution to the top line is undoubtedly the market leader with approximately 60% share in the ready to cook market in India. The impact has really been huge.

·         Negative brand image now trans locating to other products of Nestle ( reports of larvae being found in Nestle milk ), Nestle immediately has to strategize on the PR front to stop immediate negative publicity

·         The entire Ready to cook market has shrunk due to rising consumer doubts, competitors like Top Ramen, Yippie, Wi-Wi etc are fighting to grasp the market share of Maggi and thus retain their current revenue lines even in the momentarily declining market, also to establish their brand leadership once the market has regained.

This of course has hit Maggi majorly but there is a slight ray of hope as in the process of gaining the top spot, these competitors are bound to play dirty games of negative brand building of each other and thus losing confidence of the consumers by the created lose-lose situation which will lead to Maggi regaining its trust in the consumers by coming out clean with all the health regulations.

It is critical that Maggi deviates the focus of its competitors while it is fighting its own battle of proving the standards on the hygiene grounds and comes back strong to establish its supremacy again in the ready to cook market

·         Maggi as a brand has always been known for its “easy and quick” perception, now Nestle has to portray its efforts in the direction of “We care” and “Your health is our priority” to regain the consumer confidence. This could be achieved by partnering with audit teams and publishing their reports through their mouths both offline and on media, not only for Maggi but for the entire product line of Nestle

·         TV campaign on taking ownership of the quality and showing concern for the consumers as a part of  “You & I, the perfect Maggi family” is the need of the moment

·         Brand “Maggi” celebrity endorsement on “safety of consumers and hygiene of product” should be done on an immediate basis, it is needed not only for the entire market stability but also for Nestle as a company

PS - Maggi has always been my personal favourite, a constant support of the times I was staying out of home. I do wish it a comeback soon, provided my health and integrity in quality is not at stake.

Whistle

Spreading our lives

Around like a deck

Of 52 card draws

Ideas wild

Like a forest fire

Dangerous as the

Tips of razor blades yet

Fragile as a virgins first kiss

Minds as fair

As the judicial system

We are a new generation

A generation of longevity creation elation

Controlled by no hand

Ordered out by no one

Fighting for every penny

Every nickel and dime

Fighting for a last call

That will never come

If the bomb were to drop

We would be there to catch it

Our ideas like wild fires

Engulfing every youth with

Their smile of innocence

(though not everyone smiles truthfully)

Members break off like

The leaves that fall from our trees

Moving on

Following their own song

All the angel headed hipsters

Dancing in the wakes of ocean dreams

Move through the streams of memory

Their souls busting out the seams

We drift through time

Picking at the problems of this

Special unique day

What a way to spend

All the time we were given

For free

Work for nothing

But we don't mind at all

When the party is up

We return the call

Holding each other

Till dawn decides to break

A take we search for

A present we were born to

Strive for

Now wake with a wink

And a smile

To a sun that will

Always have your number

Shout out

That life is here

For me but

Not only me!

Let the pool table balls fall

And try not to stall

When the lady in the corner

Asks for your hand in the hall

Love is worth chasing

Dying

And fighting for

Oh' Youth...

How little we know

How hard we search

How little we realize

How short all this is.

Only if a Cat could write !

Ever wondered, what it would be like to read autobiography of a cat ?

Hi, I am Gabru ! Yes, that sounds such a rowdy name but my lady master is surely the one who could so much relate to this name. From bossing around the house to dumping her boyfriends for not being able to differentiate between magenta and purple, she totally in all aspects justifies this act of naming me something sounding as rowdy as "Gabru" !

My life has seen a lot of ups and downs at this tender age of 4. Brimming with pride when flaunting my furry while tail, I make sure I don't let the bad phases of my life reflect on the seamless beauty I have inherited from Momma. She was a tortoiseshell, a blend of tabby, ginger, black, white, each different to its texture. The supposed theory among those dumb humans is that all tortoiseshell are females but having conversed with few of those cats myself, I do realize the Cat eunichs also exist in tortoiseshells but humans think they are too smart to decipher the genders with our "purrrs" !

Reminiscing the early days of my life, it indeed was joyful ! We were 5 of us, Momma and my 4 elder siblings. Daddy dear seemed to have been absconding since forever, so not much of a clue on what breed he belonged to. Well, it never either mattered, with those sparkling eyes and shining fur, I had all the prowress to seduce anybody, so the breed of Daddy was a redundant information.

I was born with a silver spoon, in the backyard of a huge bungalow which seemed to have forbidden a whole big garage for reasons unknown. Sleeping in the backseat of the Limousine abandoned in the garage, I would always dream of growing to a slim sexy cat who would be pampered and carried all the day long, travelling to places on hot wheels and being flaunted to the world. As I grew and got a little hold of my senses, I just ran away from the garage to get myself noticed to the girl living across the street. She seemed to be having the perfect class and sophistication that would match my standards and upbringing. She was my mission, I had to woo her to adopt me at any cost for the better good and I finally managed to do so and today here I am !

Phew ! She is not that eventful as I though she would be. Her taste of music doesn't suit mine at all and her taste in guys is even worse but thankfully she owns the attitude to change them with time. That gives me a lot of satisfaction since I really need variety of those hands playing with my soft skin. Though I miss my limousine, its like a trade off. I have to bear with her weird antics at times but usually they do not interfere in my space with random leftover feeding and itching all over.

Ofcourse spending another couple of years is fine here but then the girl plans to get married and with her to-be husband around, I don't think I would get the requisite attention I deserve. So in the long term, I plan to switch and move off to somebody who is abundantly well to do to afford my class and stature.

Till then, signing off here !

Impromptu Rains

The purple blemished skyline hitting the flat terrace of the Academic block in the backdrop of the hazy Kasauli hills; a vision so beautiful, a feeling so serene is something I have never experienced standing in the basketball court inspite of the uncountable times I have been there. The joy of inking the feel of winds brushing my hair through my cheeks is indeed magical. The music of the sway is just sinking in with every moment of the diminishing orange ray of the cloudy sun. These tiny little droplets as they kiss me and drop down my face leaves me with an exorbitant amount of vibrant love from the unknown; the chirpy clouds, the vibrant sun, the hidden moon and the fresh air. Every step that I move on the soft ground towards my room embodies a feeling of belongingness, to this very place , to the numerous priceless moments this place has given me, to the several music sessions in the lawns, to the all night gossiping sitting on the window, to the mid-night chai and to those long walks. A year in this place that has been my abode, has given me all. A shorter, mini version of life, perhaps. Life would surely have been unfair had this not happened to me. It totally baffles me how these forces of nature influence the rampant thought process in the tiny brain with the train of nostalgia accelerating and overtaking the present, but indeed these forces have all the power to mould even the hurtful of  memories to beautiful preserving moments for the rest of the life. This feeling of the desire to hold on to this time diminishes just as fast as sand in a closed fist. Time is a weird presence in life, doesn't stay for you, neither does it let you stay even if you want to. With just another month to go, I want to cherish and preserve every moment spent here for a lifetime of happiness.

My Dreams

Drowning in a darkness 
Of deep despair 
Believing the lies I hear 
And seeing truths not there 

See the rays of sunlight 
They shine upon your scars 
Reaching for that broken smile 
Among the hidden stars 

Hearing the tear drops 
Falling from your eyes 
Believe my hidden secrets 
And tell my stolen lies 

Bring me to the surface 
Give me air to breathe 
Let me see the sorrow 
Upon my broken dreams !

Yes, the broken dreams like shattered pieces of glasses that can never be put together again.

The Sudden Feeling !

So in depth hold on with all of my might
Waiting in the rain, a cold winter night.
Inhale, Exhale...Calm as I am !
Hair blowing in the wind
Somebody take my hand
My eyes they close,
as I breathe in deep.
You run through my mind
And my life is complete !!!
I open my eyes
but you are still not there.
No one could take your place,
With you my heart I share
A cold afternoon,
Hands as cold as ice.
Thoughts go through my mind
My feelings are concise
Lying in your arms
We are the perfect match.
The distance is discouraging
Yet still I am attached
Sitting by the fire,
Thinking in a distant stare
Waiting under the streetlights
Nobody could compare !!!

Purple Passion

From the vermilion dawn to aureolin noon , from the tiffany blue evening to mulberry purple dusk . . . life seemed to have brought a new ray of hope , a sudden urge to get dissolved in all these lively colors that the nature embodies in itself. Over with the fondness of the Blacks and the Whites; Purple - you fill me with life !!!

A rather late evolution, but the radiance of its shades is unmatchable. Yes ! Indeed I am referring to the color purple, precise in the variation but engraving in the mind. Not so popular as the likes of reds and greens and blues but its beauty of the nascent feminish feel in an escorted mascular passion defines purple to its very existence.

Tyrian depicting the royalty , Munsell exploding with life, Palatinate racing back in time . . . . . Thistle blushing like the pretty Scotland quine . . . the vibes of the color encompasses the myriad precise moments of life . The beauty of the mauve wildflower to the sophistication of the orchid ; purple has it all. Not far are the days when it leaves behind the bias to blacks-blues-whites-reds-greens !

I wish I was Purple, as I firmly believe nothing can be so exorbitant as this to go beyond imagination of vastness of life and heterogeneity of nature . Thank you purple for existing in my life !  

The year of Transformation

The world is full of people,
Content to be what they are
Who never know the joy of success;
They lack the will to go that far

Yet in this world there is a need,
For some to lead the rest
To rise above the average life,
By giving of their best

Are you the one who dares,
To try when challenged by the task
To rise to heights you've never dreamed,
Or is that too much to ask?

This can be your year,
For great purpose to achieve
If you accept the challenge,
And in yourself you believe !

The glowing path to Heaven !

Walking down the wood
to the serenity of an unknown likelihood
I cross by the tiny glow worm
tittering off in the silent storm !

She waved and glowed in the glimpse of the dawn
sparkling glittering hovering around the fawn
Up she went and flew with the whiff
singing her way to the cliff !

I ripped apart the bush on the way
thrashed the grass , bugs ... whatever it may
Not blinking the lid to follow the light
hope of the single ray to a soothing sight !

Grasping for breath I fall on the kneebend
just to find the worm light vanish to the wend
I turn to hear a tweaking sound
Gasping as I was , I am left astound !

No less than a visual disguise
hundreds and thousands of the dynamic fireflies
in the scary depth off the cliff , I beven
screaming aloud I say - HEAVEN !!!

The new man in the round !

One fine afternoon on a sunny day in the workless phase of office , I suddenly see a poke in one of the social networking sites from a person quite unknown but seemingly interesting . I think of poking back but right on the click moment I change my mind and instead ping the person . The seemingly interesting person turns out to be actually an interesting character with the way he replies to my ping .
And the conversation begins !!! From introductions to guess works and long exchanges of witty replies , the chatting schedule keeps on growing longer and longer . Yes , you guessed it right ! The so very unknown man now seems like a friend with so much common to share with . Such huge is the rampant personality trait of this person that after so many days of long chats and conversations , I still seem to be far from even knowing the person well . But there's a certain charm in the whole of this situation because even though I do not fully tend to understand and know about this person , there's just so much of warmth involved in the interaction and friendship .
And yes , after the "different" feedback from you for my blog , I with all my heart dedicate this post to you . Wanted to write a lot but I think a few things are best left unsaid as you always say , hence limiting my post to these few words . Hope you like it . Happy Reading !!

Sensational Seasonal Springs !!

The singing sound of silence , the dotted illusion of the dark , the far away beats of dhol playing the patriotic song "ye desh hai veer jawano ka" on a marriage procession and the sweet scent of the breeze dancing in my balcony  . . . life almost seems perfect !!
This sense of perfection in enjoyment of the "me" moment is the alter ego of loneliness for some . And those "some" say it is just the seasonal effect . Now that gets me thinking !!!
So am I happy or having a feeling of happiness only because this is the spring season which comes fresh out of the gloomy Winter ?? So when I get into the process of reverse thinking , I try to analyze the reasons for my happiness and the major changes that have led to those reasons .
Professionally I am still the same , same job , same people around , same responsibilities and the same work place...so that doesn't count . If I talk on personal matters , no new friendships , no recent trips , no entry of the "special one" in life...so even that doesn't count , which means no changes and still I am happy !!! And with this I agree that it has to be the effect of the season , but believe me whatever the reason be , the feeling is awesome . I just seem to be so much more in love with myself and life . I actually get scared thinking if I am becoming a narcissist with time . But as they say any change with a positive feeling hounding it is always good .
Indeed the romance captivated in the season of spring is a mood lifter . I wish my city holds the same season all the year round . Love you SPRING !!

Feign ... the truth of life !

I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled;
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside, I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my heart at night
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see,
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day,
I was slowly dying.
I couldn't go on,
There was something missing..

Until now I'm still searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying.
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then I'll keep on smiling.
Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing.
Hoping one day I can smile,
Till then, I'll be here.. waiting.

A New Begining !

It's only the beginning now
...a pathway yet unknown
At times the sound of other steps
...sometimes we walk alone

The best beginnings of our lives
May sometimes end in sorrow
But even on our darkest days
The sun will shine tomorrow.

So we must do our very best
Whatever life may bring
And look beyond the winter chill
To smell the breath of spring.

 Into each life will always come
A time to start anew
A new beginning for each heart
As fresh as morning dew.

Although the cares of life are great
And hands are bowed so low
The storms of life will leave behind
The wonder of a rainbow.

The years will never take away
Our chance to start anew
It's only the beginning now

So dreams can still come true